Painters of Reality: The Subconscious Narator
- Admin
- Apr 10
- 6 min read
Just like the eye doesn’t see on its own but collects light and sends signals to the brain where the image is formed, our subconscious works the same way with our thoughts. We don’t see reality as it is, we see it through the lens of our subconscious. This lens is shaped by things we’re often unaware of: past experiences, repressed memories, emotional reactions, trauma, habits, and the stories we've learned about ourselves and the world. The subconscious doesn’t speak to us in words; it works in the background, quietly influencing what we notice, what we ignore, and how we interpret what’s happening around us. It sets the stage before we even begin to think about something consciously. Just like light passes through the eye before it becomes a picture, reality passes through the subconscious before we fully understand it, shaping the way we see everything.
How does the subconscious process work?
Psychologically, the subconscious process of shaping reality starts with associacion and repetition. For example, environmental patterns of behaviour can create a prolongued frame of reference that shape the interactions between individuals and their narative understanding of these events. If love is offered transactionally, only when certain conditions are met - then the unconscious will associate love with performance. This will then shape the type of interactions the individual longs for. However, these are not internalised through conscious thoughts, but they manifest rather through emotional impuleses. A child that is often criticized without a real cause will develop a frame of reference based on that criticism. They may grow up thinking that the world is against them and every single piece of feedback will be met with excuses and lack of accountability. If the child is repeatedly deprived of the possibility for defending his/her case, or if their arguments are invalidaded without reasoning, they may soon stop trying to make a defence for their actions. The premise that drives the action becomes "to be loved one must be perfect". Of course, based on countless situational details this example can take different paths, here I explained only one of these. The subconscious reference influence what we notice, what we ignore, how we interpret someone’s tone of voice, or whether we feel safe speaking up. The conscious mind may think it’s making independent choices, but often it’s just following an old, invisible rail constructed long ago. Unless we bring these rules into awareness, they will continue to shape our lives without our permission or warning.
Bringing the subconscious into awareness
Bringing the subconscious into awareness is one of the most difficult things a human can do. It is not enough to be told where the error lies—just as reading about a tree’s roots does not reveal their depth or shape. When a subconscious pattern is deeply buried, intellectual understanding alone often cannot reach it. The connections simply won’t form, no matter how logical the explanation may be. This is because the subconscious stores emotional truths, not intellectual ones. These truths are rooted in experience, not reasoning. To uncover them is to endure a kind of inner disturbance, much like a tree torn up by a storm, exposing the intricate web of roots that held it in place. Only then, in the wreckage, does the whole structure become visible. Or like hard, dry earth, resistant to touch, until the blade of a shovel slices through and turns the soil—revealing what lay hidden beneath the surface. This turning over of the inner ground does not happen without effort. It demands prudence, to recognize what must be questioned; knowledge, to guide us in making sense of what is uncovered; and something deeper still - something I will return to in a later article: wisdom.
But what happens when the outlines themselves are flawed; when the sketch we’re filling in was drawn by fear, shame, or misunderstanding? If the subconscious has been shaped by confusion or pain, then the conscious mind may color in a false picture. We begin to see the world not as it is, but as it was when we were hurt. In this way, the lens through which we view life becomes clouded, darkened, and we start to mistake light for darkness and darkness for light. What once protected us becomes what blinds us. We might cling to what feels safe, even if it’s destructive, or reject what’s good because it feels unfamiliar. Sweet things seem bitter; bitter things seem sweet. The subconscious becomes not just a filter, but a mirror reflecting back our past instead of the present. Unless we pause to question these outlines and clean the lens, we risk building our lives on distortions, not truths. This resistance to inner change echoes the ancient moment when Pharaoh of the Exodus “hardened his heart” - not because he lacked signs, but because his inner ground was unyielding. When the soil of the soul resists turning like hardy and dry ground, the seed of truth cannot take root and yield its fruit.
Cleaning the subconscious
To clean the unconscious, the old frame must die so that a new one can be born. Just as a seed must first decay in the soil before it can spring forth and bear fruit, the hardened heart must recognize that the familiar urges of the persona—the fears, biases, and ingrained responses—must be set aside. “Unless you are born again, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven,” this truth speaks to the necessity of a spiritual and psychological rebirth. To step away from the distorted reality we’ve built, we must first acknowledge that what we know and who we are must be grounded in objective reality, not the familiar patterns of the past. This process begins by deliberately turning the mind away from old patterns and fixing our attention on what is praiseworthy, noble, kind, true, eloquent, loving, loyal. Through constant meditation on these virtues, the subconscious can be retrained, slowly reshaping the way we interact with the world and the way we see ourselves. This purification of the heart—letting go of false identity and habitual response—is the first step toward true transformation. Only from here can we begin to approach an understanding of the objective reality that transcends our subjective perceptions. However, this transformation is also dependent on resisting the pull of the environment in our pursuit of "light." Regardless of how the world reacts, we must understand that everyone is subject to the same subconscious darkness and imperfections. This realization frees us from the endless pursuit of validation, approval, and acceptance from others. We must accept that no one, including ourselves, can ever fully attain perfection—and in doing so, we begin to release the hold that external judgment and expectations have on us.
Narcissism and the subconscious
Narcissism can be understood as a behavior driven predominantly by subconscious forces—an automatic, autopilot-like existence. The narcissist’s actions are not deliberate choices; they are the manifestation of deeply ingrained emotional wounds and defense mechanisms that have been formed over years of unresolved inner conflict. In this way, the narcissist is trapped in a kind of subconscious prison, where they are unable to fully engage with the world in a present, conscious, and authentic manner. Even when they intentionally choose to hurt or manipulate others, it is still the subconscious drives and their delusional sense of reality that dictate their actions. They may believe that their behavior is justified or that their manipulation is necessary to maintain control, but these actions are rooted in distorted, subconscious patterns that have been reinforced over time. Their responses to others are not based on the actual reality of the situation, but are instead projected through a lens distorted by past trauma. They are constantly reacting to the echoes of former hurts, unable to see others as they truly are because they are subconsciously expecting them to mirror the figures who hurt them before they developed a fully integrated sense of self.
This pattern locks them out of true connection with the world, making genuine change appear impossible. Despite how self-aware a narcissist may seem, they are still trapped by these automatic behaviors—unable to respond to real-time, real-life situations with authenticity. They are caught in a loop of reactivity, where their subconscious is running the show, and their behaviors, while seemingly purposeful, are instead responses to long-standing emotional patterns. When they act with apparent malice or calculated intent, it is not a clear, rational decision—they are acting out of a deeply ingrained, distorted sense of what is necessary for self-preservation and validation. While advances in psychological science offer some understanding, the complexity of this prison means that breaking free from it is exceedingly difficult. The very structures of their mind work against them, creating a barrier to true self-awareness and transformation. As it stands, change for a narcissist remains a monumental challenge, as they are stuck in a cycle that prevents them from fully perceiving themselves or the world as they truly are.
